Day 14: The Sound of Music…
It’s exactly two weeks since I had the surgery now. There isn’t much to report as I have spent a lot of time resting which equates to being one with the sofa, remote control glued to hand, mobile phone and tablet within easy reach, along with a small selection of snacks and my cocktail of painkillers and antibiotics. Fun times(!)
In the time I have been recuperating, I’ve been without sound entirely – totally deaf day in/day out, just me and my tinnitus. Sometimes I’d wake up and catch myself reaching for my CI processor to put it on and enter into the magical world of sounds. It’s heartbreaking. On the occasions I pop down to the corner shop, I make sure I don’t have to interact with anyone, not even the shop assistant. I’m rubbish at lipreading without sound and anxious about unconsciously raising my voice when talking to someone because I can’t hear myself.
The TV has been on semi-permanent mute (unless I get a visitor) and I haven’t watched anything without subtitles.
I really miss sound but most of all…
I miss music
Especially for those moments where I like to switch off everything except music, turn off the lights, close the curtains, plug in the earphones, close my eyes and simply enjoy the sensation and sound of music. I haven’t been able to do that for a little while…
I’m grateful for the ability to hear and enjoy music with a CI. I can’t wait to get switched on and once again allow music to enfold me. I can’t imagine my life without music.
“I see flowers sway to the music I’ve created in my mind…
Its as if the flowers could hear my music written in the wind.
My ears may be different but music alone is so beautiful
And I can’t imagine it more powerful if I could hear.
I see birds chirping love tunes…
As if they know whether I’m in love or not.
My voice may not be perfect but facial expressions and words
are all that is needed to understand beauty and hatred.
I am Deaf and I have been able to create the music inside me.”
Chronicles of a Bionic Woman
“My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence.” ― Edith Sitwell