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A Soul in Anguish…

February 21, 2012

You look around you, and all you can see is the wall of toil, hardship, hopelessness surrounding you…
You try so hard to look past the present hopeless mess that is your life but you can’t…you squint as hard as you can, trying to see past the lifeless hedge around you…

You listen to messages meant to encourage, uplift and inspire you but none of them seem to penetrate through this thick fog that has been your constant companion for so long…you’re almost used to it if not for the choking blackness it brings…

You wonder if life is worth living again…people tell you – be positive! Think positive! Speak positively! And you try…my God, you try…but nothing happens…

Where do you turn to when even the hope you clung to isn’t there anymore?
What do you do when you already lost hope a long time ago?
Where is my God when I need Him? Please don’t tell me His timing is always perfect…
I’m standing looking down into an abyss that resembles my future…how can I live for that?!

What do you do when you know all the promises in the Bible but right now when you need them the most, nothing is happening?
Where is the faith that took you out of your seat that faithful Sunday morning in church and you answered the altar call?

Do You know me, God? Do You care? Do You still remember me, that man who walked up to the altar and, crying, confessed You as Lord and Saviour?
Do You know my name? Why did You create me?? What on earth am I doing here?? Have You heard my cries in the night? Did You see that moment where I almost gave up and tried to kill myself?
DO YOU CARE???

If You do, why don’t You answer? Why haven’t You done something?
When will enough be enough??? How much more do You think I can take?

Cos I don’t think I can take it anymore…

Chronicles of a Bionic Woman

Those who believe that they believe in God, but without passion in their hearts, without anguish in mind, without uncertainty, without doubt, without an element of despair even in their consolation, believe only in the God idea, not God Himself ~ Miguel de Unamuno

(Image courtesy of Google Images)

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From → Brokenness

2 Comments
  1. K G Booo permalink

    God is not man that turns up on man’s time. We go through adversities so we can be more prepared for what’s to come our way in the future. Giving up on life is inversely saying God is not God in your life.

    “If a man would allot half an hour every night for self-conversation, and recapitulate with himself whatever he has done, right or wrong, in the course of the day, he would be both the better and the wiser for it.”

    Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield, 4th Earl

    • Thank you for reading and for your comment!

      You are right, though sometimes it is difficult to apply into practice the principle of trusting God when everything seems to be working against you. There but for the grace of God!

      Blessings!

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