It’s been a sweet while since I last wrote on this blog about my experiences with a hearing loss. It’s not that I have not wanted to share anything but simply that I have found it extremely difficult to think of my everyday experiences in relation to my hearing. The fact is, for me, this is normal life. My hearing is secondary – I feel I have not been able to write about it because I am acutely unaware of a ‘loss’. I can hear. There’s not much else to it. Sure, my hearing isn’t as perfect as possibly the person reading this, but at least I know sounds and I am familiar with the everyday joy of living and hearing sounds.
I am living life normally and being the best that I can be, one day at a time, by the special grace of God. I have my own challenges, just like everybody else, sometimes I prevail, sometimes I don’t, but in all I get up and I keep trying.
The voice on the train announcing the next destination or warning against closing doors is so familiar to me that I don’t even notice I can actually hear every single word without even trying.
My biggest challenges remain in communication and interacting with others – but that’s all it is – a challenge. It’s really no different from a hearing person being in a noisy bar/restaurant and struggling to follow what the person across from them is saying.
Yes, you would have a hard time waking me up in the middle of the night simply by calling my phone repeatedly, vainly hoping the ringing will wake me up! All you will achieve is knowing how many times my phone rings before it goes to voice mail! Is that much different from a person with good hearing? Ah I don’t think so, though it depends on everyone.
I may not be able to pick up the phone and just talk to you for ages but the impact that has had on my life is lessening with each passing year. Although I do still wonder how my future husband will cope when I think too much about it…
The truth is, I am beginning to realise that my inability to ‘accept’ (for want of a better word) my ‘hearing loss’ after all these years, may do with the fact that God has not called me to stand apart solely under the spotlight of my deafness. No matter what you go through in life, you must get up, brush yourself down and keep going! I am not saying the experience and what can be learnt from it should be ignored – far from it! I am saying that what you become after that, what you learn as a result of that should flow so naturally along with whose you are that for you, that mountain-top life is ‘normal life’! Sure, if it inspires others along the way who cross your path, even better! But personally, I am unable to identify myself as a ‘deaf woman’ – I am a virtuous woman. That is all.
So as I continue to ‘seek first His kingdom and His righteousness’, I believe that everything else will fall into place. Dominion will be an everyday occurrence. Normal life will be breaking 50 barriers a day in every facet of life. And when my time on this earth comes to an end, I hope that those who speak of me afterwards will have to think really hard to remember that I did in fact have a hearing loss!
Showers of blessings in the New Year!
Chronicles of a Bionic Woman
Veni, vidi, vici